Unsaral Saral

Every year, around this time (July end), there is a frenzy in our office for filing the IT returns. The office would have given the required forms by April-end or May-beginning, but in typical Indian fashion, we keep the stuff for the last week of July, when the Income Tax Department starts advertising in all newspapers how we have to file the IT returns by July 31st or else pay the penalty, how they wouldn't extend the date any further, and then, when all and sundry have run helter skelter filling the form and filing them, they would promptly keep extending the date till November 1st. Every year, this is a similar routine. This year was no different.

I got the form in time, but Ranji had to wait for hers. Since she was going away to Wales, she signed off 2 Saral forms and went. Now this Saral form is meant to be what it means - Saral (simple). Believe me, it is not! Five years since starting to fill the form, I still have to refer to all the previous years' forms and also get help from the accounts department on how to fill the form. I remember the first time this happened, the accounts department sent out lots of mails stating they wouldn't help. It has just remained in the mail. Funnily enough, I am not the only one who finds it difficult; I see hordes queing up with them to get it filled. It just proves that this so-called Saral is somewhat Unsaral.

Last Monday was when I got hold of Ranji's forms and filled up the sheet. My friend, Bijit, also filled it up on the same day, under the impression that we could go then and submit it. He, obviously, had underestimated my powers of laziness. I put it off for another 10 days before finally forcing myself to go with him today. After much ado, I must say the filing in itself was an anticlimax, having finished it in just about 2 minutes. One of those rare occasions when the Indian Government machinery works like clockwork (a very, very rare sight, believe me). Now, the wait begins for next year and whole cycle to start off again!!!

Aches and Pains

My legs are aching, my thighs are unable to handle even the minutest of stretch, my hands are feeling heavier - yes, I am suffering. The reason for this recent predicament of mine was that I decided to clean the house after more than a week. For the entire stretch of last week, I kept postponing the cleaning, thinking it would be best done on the next day. Well, it reached its peak this Monday when I had to literally climb over little hills of dust that I decided that things were a touch too bad. So, out came the broom and mop, and with a handkerchief tied over my face (I am suffering from dust allergy, remember), I got down to the task. If at all I had any illusion about the size of our apartment, those were disspelled in those few hours. I realized that dust particularly likes balconies, any sort of string material like a wire, clothesline, etc., corners, and so on and so forth. The accumulation of dust is directly proportional to the inaccessibility of a place (Hari's First Law of Dust Formation). I thought brooming was tough, but to call mopping as tough would be an understatement. A week's accumulation of fat quickly burned off in just a couple of hours.

Another thing was our kitchen. Of late, it was beginning to look like a kitchen of a house where Hari resides alone. So, I decided to get it into its former glory, into the days when it shone from Ranji's continuous attention. I planned to scrub the entire kitchen clean with cleaning liquid including the granite top, steel sink, gas stove, etc. These activities take Ranji around 10 minutes at the most (I have personally seen it and timed it), but by the time I finished it was closer to an hour. In short, I started the whole activity at 9:30 and finished it by 2:30. One can say that I started the activity as a male chauvinist pig and ended it being a chivalrous knight because I realized how much she must have been going through, doing this almost on a daily basis. I have decided that, regardless of the aches and pains, I am going to be a better husband from now on, lending my hands to a few household chores. Of course, let us all remember that I am always bigger on words than on action ;).

Coldarain

I guess it was just last month that I was telling anyone who would care to listen that I haven't been affected by cold for a long time. Well, then the rains came and things changed! Now, I am perpetually clearing my nose, bringing up phlegm from the back of my throat, coughing, wheezing, and doing all those pathetic things that we do when we aren't very well. Add to that severe body pain and ache, and you can confidently say that I am sick.

I've never been a good patient. I get cranky and restless (more than usual, I mean) when I am afflicted with something. In fact, my activity level is directly proportional to the severity of my disease. The more serious it is, the more my activity level would be. All those forbidden things, which I would happily shun during happier times, would come tempting during my illnesses. Back in 1987, when I and my brother were both affected by chicken pox, we made living hell for the rest of the family. We would stay awake at night, keep reciting poems, reading passages from the text, and would be dying to go to school. Of course, by the time we were finally cured, the enthusiasm levels had dropped much lower.

I am not sure about my brother nowadays, but I continue to display those traits even now. I rarely take an off from work when I am sick. I guess the underlying sadist in me would like to spread the illness and get everyone affected. Maybe, my illness is more to do with the mind than the body. Maybe, I should have been a study material for Freud. Maybe, maybe.........

This current situation that I find myself in was more a result of the climatic changes in Bangalore. The weather, which was bordering on being hot, suddenly changed because of the rains coming, and promptly I was reminded of the fragile state of my health. Add to that the fact that I have been pretty busy this whole week and you get a perfect recipe for disaster. That hasn't stopped me from coming to work, though. I have packed a whole bunch of tissues and am constantly blowing into it. Everyone working in the same floor are looking at me with suspicion, wondering whether they are going to be the recepients of my largesse. I have off only day after tomorrow, which means that rest is still some way away. Hope I get enough tissues to blow my nose into.

Jaimala and Sabarimala

Last week, Times of India was full of news about Jaimala, her visit to Sabarimala, her alleged touching of the idol, and subsequent claims of various actresses that they too had made the journey minus the touching of idol. All this became such a big issue because women passing through their reproductive, menstruative years are not allowed to go to Sabarimala since Lord Ayyappa is a devout brahmachari and doesn't want temptations of any sort. Frankly, I find it very funny. There are hundreds of Ayyappa temples around Kerala and other parts of the country, and almost all of these temples allow women of pre-reproductive, reproductive, and post-reproductive stages in them. Won't the Lord get tempted with the devotees then?

I have been having these doubts now for a long time, and when in such situations I usually approach my grandmother for answers. She has this habit of coming up with logical answers to such posers. She thought that this might be because earlier the route was pretty dangerous through forests where it wasn't really safe, and probably, it was thought that such a route wasn't very safe for a young woman. Now, that is more logical answer than I can think of myself, but even this has a hole in it. How would a forest be safe for a girl or an old woman? Even my grandmother can't answer that. Well, one reason could be that with such a huge number of men assembling there, a majority of whom might have been abstaining from any sort of contact with the fairer sex, things might get out of hand when you have a fair amount of young women around. People might not exactly have Ayyappan in mind, I guess.

Having said all that, I still don't know how Jaimala could touch the idol. I have gone to Sabarimala 14 times, and quite a few times when it was jampacked. I have been pushed around a fair bit near the sanctum sanctorum, but never have I been able to touch the idol. The main reason for that is that I am not, and I mean I am not, 8-9 foot tall!!! You have to be a real huge person to actually do it. I haven't heard of anyone claiming this, and you cannot say that all the rest don't weigh up to Jaimala in their fervour.

The sad thing is that the newspapers have already moved on in life and have totally forgotten about the sexual equality etc. I seriously wonder whether we are actually bothered about all the stuff that appear there. I sincerely hope that our temples stop being so adamant about implementing 12th century rules etc. Let us take Hinduism forward, not backward.