Nearing the Pinnacle

From a very young age, I have been punishing my body to its limit in my quest to climb the pinnacle of laziness. I must say with certain level of satisfaction that I managed to get very close to the peak over this weekend.

When it started, there was no indication that this was going to be such a historic weekend. I had been working hard throughout this week thanks to my manager who managed to absent himself from work whenever I and my team did extremely well and was in his foulest moods whenever we slipped up. Add to that the fact that Ranji is yet to return from her foreign sojourn, and I have been spending uncharacterestic hours at the office. So, when weekend approached, I decided I would schedule myself for a 2-day off.

Saturday evening was spent on the internet for quite a long time, and it was around 2 a.m. when I finally decided to hit the bed, reminding myself about the naming ceremony of the grandchild of someone staying in my apartment. I promptly woke up around 7 a.m., thanks to the wonderful ironing man we have, who is one among the 2 (the other is my opposite door neighbour), who take a sadistic pleasure in waking people at ungodly early hours on Sundays. Having woken up, I promptly brushed myself (see, I told you I had no indication about history being made) and breezed through the newspaper (thanks to Times of India) and called up another flatmate to find out whether she was going for the function so that I could hitch a ride. That was the trigger!!! She said she wasn't well and wasn't going and that my neighbour (he of the waking-people-up-at-7 syndrome) also wasn't going. That triggered my alter ego to come up with the argument that if not them, why should you? It didn't take too much to convince my weak mind, and I decided to give the function a skip.

Having decided on skipping the function, the question was "now what?" The bed looked rather inviting and my eyelids were rather heavy, so I decided to head to the bed. After a rather long sleep, I got up and decided that I was smelling rather horrendously and needed to do something about that. Thirty minutes and a luxurious bath later, I had another bout of laziness and I went back to sleep. This time, I woke at around 3 p.m. with a burning stomach. I pulled myself to go to the hotel near my house to get a bite, but managed to get back quickly enough lest my laziness get cured. The lazy calm of the day was disturbed for a couple of hours thanks to Srikumar, a friend, who needed my expert advice in buying a house. So, he took me around a few mud-filled roads in search of that dream. Sadly, his dream turned a nightmare, and he finally dropped me off near my house. The remaining hours in the evening were spent again on the couch, reading through a few books before finally calling up a hotel to deliver my dinner at my doorstep. After having dinner, I had a momentary attack of guilt, considering the fact that I hadn't done much over an entire day when the house was howling to be cleaned. Thankfully, it didn't last long enough.

Monday morning came rather early, and I once again breezed through my morning ablutions. I was back in bed, stubbornly closing my eyes, willing myself to go back to sleep. Either my will was strong or the body was weak, but I was sleeping my way to glory in a few minutes. The next thing I know was it was afternoon. The rest of the day passed in a similar pattern, only broken by my trip to the nearest CD shop to return the CD I had taken 4 days back and didn't see since it was getting stuck repeatedly. As I got ready to sleep, I felt a strange contentment because it was the highest possible achievement for me as far as laziness goes. It was near-perfection laziness. I don't know whether I would ever be able to match it, but hope is definitely the nectar of life.